The Subjunctive Mood Exemplified

If I were a month, I'd be September, with it's colorful leaves and brisk air.
If I were a day of the week, I'd be Friday.
If I were a time of day, I'd be late at night.
If I were a sea animal, I'd be a Shark. Rawr.
If I were a direction, I’d be East.
If I were a piece of furniture, I’d be a window seat.
If I were a liquid, I’d be espresso.
If I were a gemstone, I’d an emerald.
If I were a tree, I’d be a weeping willow.
If I were a flower, I'd be the very reddest rose.
If I were a kind of weather, I’d be rain.
If I were a musical instrument, I’d be a cello.
If I were a color, I’d be a shimmering gold.
If I were an emotion, I’d be joy.
If I were a fruit, I’d be a raspberry.
If I were one of the four elements, I'd be water.
If I were a food, I'd be a souffle.
If I were a place, I’d be Manhattan.
If I were a material, I’d be cashmere.
If I were a scent, I’d be vanilla.
If I were an animal, I'd be an affectionate cat.
If I were a facial expression, I'd be a smile.
If I were a pair of shoes, I’d be intricate. Like these.

The Search Is On...

A week or so ago, Nathan and I woke up to a lovely little letter under our door that informed us of some housing changes at NWC. Because of the economy and the resulting drop in enrollment number, our school is dropping on of their main off campus housing facilities. And where will they put all of those homeless students? In married housing, of course.

That's right. We are being kicked off campus; the move out deadline is July 1st.

Granted, I'm not too disappointed. I've been wanting to move for quite some time, and I've spent a good amount of time searching for houses and condos online.

But now, it's for real. And I've discovered that searching is a little less fun when you have five months to find a place to live. Nathan seems to be really enjoying himself, though. We are looking to buy, because what we are paying in rent now is several hundred dollars more than the house payments will be on any of the condos or houses we are looking at. There are so many good deals right now, we feel that it would be silly to continue to throw money down the drain every month, which is basically what renting feels like after a while.

We are going to actually look at our first home this morning, after the class I am currently sitting in finishes up. Please pray for wisdom, guidance, and sanity during the next few months as we look for a new place to call home

Love to you all,
Lissa

Classes and Other Such Exciting Things.

School has officially started! And I am officially back in the "I Love School" mode. Here is my usual, ranting breakdown of my classes.

So quick class breakdown...

New Testament History and Literature: I took this class LAST spring for about 2 weeks, and then promptly gave up. I am not a morning person (shocking, I know) and the class was at 7:55 AM. Now, I've had other classes that early, but not with a professor who spoke in monotone about things I've known since 6th grade. I'm not being cocky or anything...the fact is, when you grow up at CLBS, general Bible courses in college are a breeze. I decided to try again this semester, with a different professor. The class is at 8:35, which is only slightly better, but the professor is great. He's dynamic, funny, and he asks a lot of open ended questions...you know, the kind that actually leave some room for the students' opinions and get discussions going. I hate it when teachers only ask questions with one word answers, and avoid answering any questions that might lead them the tiniest bit away from their notes. We even had a bit of an argument about whether or not Genesis 3:15 was intended as a prophecy or not. It was refreshing.

Intro to Theatre Technology: This is the class I am either going to drop, or fail. I need to decide quickly, because I'm nearing the end of the drop period. The class is supposed to be exactly what the title says...a basic introduction to the technical side of theatre. Now, the technical side of theatre is not my forte...I prefer to be on stage in a ridiculous costume and too much makeup. But I've done a fair amount of technical work also, mostly relating to set building. I've done work in some major Minneapolis professional theatres. But this class will be the death of me.

For starters, we have to do 35 hours of tech work OUTSIDE of class. That would be fine...if we didn't all have upwards of 18 credits, work part-time, and weren't involved in various other aspects of the theatre program at NWC. But the hours I can deal with. It's a few hours a day at the scene shop. However, piled on top of that are about a zillion projects that have to be handed in, such as complex set designs, drawings, models, etc. Besides the fact that I CANNOT DRAW, and besides the fact that I spent two hours today staring at a blueprint of a set and listening to my prof talk about it, and didn't understand a word, this class is stellar.

The more I write, the more I think I might have to drop it.

Biblical Worldview: Community and Culture: This class is interesting, but I don't have much to blog about it. It's your basic interesting-but-easy theology class at NWC. The professor is brilliant, with about a hundred degrees in various fields from public and private universities. The best part about his brilliance is that he has that rare talent to take it and translate it to students who may not be quite as brilliant. And he manages to not sound condescending. It's a morning class, but worth getting up for.

Introduction to Communications: So much I could say about this class. So much. But I'll stick to the basics. This class is supposed to cover the basic types of communication, how we use them, why we use them, etc. All of that boring, basic, easy stuff. And it is an easy class, but mostly because we spend about 30 of ever 65 minute class watching youtube videos. None of them have anything to do with what we are talking about. There are two themes for the youtube videos. A) The love of Jesus, portrayed as cheesily as possible. B) Conservative politics are bad. Liberal Christians are very persecuted. Conservative media is biased, and liberal media is neutral, and balanced.

That's right. My communications professor is one of the very few politically liberal professors at NWC, and I think it has made him bitter. He manages to bring up his personal views in every single class. I wouldn't mind...in fact, I would probably enjoy it, if it weren't for the fact that none of it EVER ties in to the syllabus, or the notes, or anything else relevant in that class.

Still, at least it's entertaining.

Love to you all,
Lissa

My Favorite Things

Once a year, sometimes in December, Oprah does her famous "Favorite Things" episode. She walks on stage, and announces the episode, and everyone in the audience screams and jumps up and down (even though most of them are NOT wearing sports bras...decorum, people!) and cry, because Oprah's favorite things are fabulous, and once she talks about them, everyone in the audience gets one. For instance, this December, everyone got an Ipad, very expensive cookware, sparkly Uggs, Coach purses, a Kindle, thousands of dollars worth of gift cards, and various other expensive items.

Well, this is my very own "favorite things" blog. The difference is, I'm not going to give any of you anything. I'm just going to make recommendations, which you may take or leave at your leisure. And yes, this is another "list" blog. I'm sorry if they are getting redundant.



1) Taylor Swift. I know, I know, she's not exactly quality. But the farther she gets from country music (and her latest album, Speak Now, is about 95% pop music) the more I like her. I also respect the fact that, although she cannot sing live very well, she writes all of her own songs. And they are catchy, fun, likable songs.




2) Elizabeth and the Catapult. This is a truly talented band made up of a trio from Brooklyn, NYC. They are a bit quirky, but she writes great, catchy, original music. They don't remind me of anything...they are uniquely them.





3) The Hunger Games. This trilogy of books by Suzanne Collins is one of the best things I have read in a long, long time. The best comparison I can make is that they are like a mix of The Giver and Lord of the Flies, with just a tiny bit of romance thrown in. (Thank you, Liana, for that succinct observation.) They are written for teens, but I cannot imagine anyone NOT liking them. I've been feeling lately that the young adult fiction section of the book store was a little weak. It's been a mix of Twilight knock-offs and Harry Potter wanna-bes, with a few dozen Gossip Girl spinoffs. It was refreshing to see something NEW and of substance on the shelves. Seriously, read them!


4) Decision Points by George W Bush. I don't care what you think of the man's politics, it's a good read. It gives a lot of insight into his Presidency, and it's an interesting book. He focuses on the highlights and lowlights of his eight years in office, talks about the major decisions he had to make, why he made them, which ones were right, and which ones he regrets. One of the things I appreciated about his autobiography as compared to others that I've read is that I didn't feel that he was trying to persuade me of anything. There was no agenda, no intense political jargon. It was simply his story, what he did, and why.


5) Black Swan. I can't delve too much into this without giving a lot away, but this is an excellent movie. From one of my favorite directors, Darren Aronofsky, (Pi, and Requiem for Dream), this film is intense from the very first moments of the film. It's a psychological thriller, not a "bad guy in the shadows" kind of movie. It messed with my mind, and had a fantastic ending. Natalie Portman was truly incredible. See it!


6) My new favorite website, budgetbytes.blogspot.com. For those of you on a tight grocery budget, you know that it is difficult to be a gourmet chef when you have to be cheap. I have a zillion recipes in my cookbooks that I would love to try, but the ingredients are just too much to buy for one meal. Budgetbytes is written by a young woman who loves to cook, and is also poor. I love this blog. Most of the recipes are simple, but very, very tasty! She puts the overall price for the meal, and what it costs per serving. Plus, she lists the price for each ingredient. She uses a lot of basic ingredients that I already have in the house, or can buy in bulk. That way, I don't buy something for one meal and then the rest of it goes bad. Her recipes also tend to be pretty healthy, which is a plus. Eating a healthful, delicious diet can be very expensive. Some of her recipes she creates herself, and some she finds online or gets from friends. Anyway, this week I planned out my meals from her blog, got enough food for FIVE DINNERS (counting on leftovers twice...many of her meals make 4 or 6 servings) and I was 20 dollars under budget. The first meal tonight was a big hit.



So there you have it. Six of my favorite things. Wish I could give you all a free car, but you'll have to go see Oprah for that.

Love to you all,
Lissa

New Year, New Adventures

Happy 2011 to you all!! I hope everyone's New Year celebrations were as fabulously fun as mine were. Nathan and I made the longish drive to Zimmerman to spend the New Year with Nathan's best friend, and several other people. It was a fun, food-filled evening, and included several rounds of Texas Hold-em. I kicked butt. I am a fabulous liar. Must be all that theatre.

I'm really not of the belief that life starts anew just because it's January again. For me, the new year mostly means that I have to go buy a new calendar, which is simply annoying. I never make resolutions. If I want to accomplish something, I will do it when the time is right, not when the ball in Times Square drops. January 1st is one of the few times during the year when I feel cynical compared to everyone around me.

This year, however, I will admit to some growing excitement about 2011.

First off, I am officially starting school again on January 10th! I'm taking 6 classes, and 18 credits. Taking a break was definitely the right choice, but I can't wait to get back into the swing of things. The very thought of sitting in an early morning class with a giant mug of coffee and a three-ring binder full of notes makes me giddy with excitement. And homework, and writing papers, and arguing with stupid professors...gosh I'm such a freak. And I love it!

Next, the new year brings the beginning of the volleyball Junior Olympic season. I am coaching on of North St Paul's 16's teams. We've only had 3 practices, but I can tell that I have a real team on my hands. The girls are hardworking, fun, competitive, and they have a really good chemistry with each other. Also, I only have one team of nine girls to coach, as opposed to 2 teams with 16 girls. Practices are so low maintenance when you don't have to constantly keep 16 ninth graders occupied. The practice schedule is much more relaxed, too. Just two 1 1/2 hour practices a week, and tournaments every other weekend, as opposed to several hours every day, plus travel for game days. Also, I get some flexibility with my practice schedule, so I can make sure it doesn't interfere with school or theatre.

Which brings me to the next item...theatre! It's been far too long since I've been on stage, and I'm aching to get back to it. Unfortunately, NWC is not doing a show that I have much interest in this spring, but I may end up auditioning anyway. And there are several community theatres in the area that are doing shows that I have been wanting to do for quite a while now. I don't know where or when exactly, but I WILL be back on stage very, very soon.

And finally, yoga. Now, I know it is very cliche of me to add a health-resolution to my list, but yoga is something I've been wanting to do for a long time. One of my major weaknesses in a theatre audition is dance. Also, I have frequent, extreme headaches. I've been told that yoga will make me more flexible, balanced, coordinated, and help with the headaches. Basically, it's magical. So I thought I'd give it a try. One of my friends (who is a yoga instructor in Hawaii...yes, I am jealous also) sent me a link to a website she likes. They email you daily for a month with different instructional videos, that teach you the basics. By the time the month is up, you have enough experience to continue on your own. And it's free, which is good, since yoga classes can be very spendy. Also, this way, I don't have to embarass myself in front of a bunch of skinny, blonde girls who have years of experience doing downward dog and the pretzel. I'll keep you all updated on my yoga progress. I'm sure you can't wait.

So that's what my 2011 looks like. Thanks for reading!

Love to you all,
Lissa

Newest Endeavors

I like lists. I like them because usually, if I put something on a list, it gets done. That's how I managed to plan a wedding. But I don't make lists often enough, which means that I don't accomplish what I should. I made a list of the things I wish to do in the next few months. I'm going to post it here so that everyone will know if I don't accomplish what I want to. Pride should keep me going.

1) French. I began learning the language with the Rosetta Stone program this summer, and then promptly quit. So I'm restarting the learning process.

2) Writing. I finished my novel ages ago, re-read it, and promptly decided that I hated it. But I love to write, and there is no reason I'm not writing things that I DON'T hate, so that I can actually get something published. Matt is planning on retiring on the large amounts of money I will make from my huge success as a novelist, so I should get on that.

3) Health. I've been doing very well here lately. (I'm going on two years without a hospital visit...That's the longest it's been since fifth grade.) I've been taking vitamin supplements, drinking lots of green tea and water, etc. Recently I've begun to work out again. All of this is good. Now I want to keep it all going.

4) Reading. There are oodles of books on my list that I need to read. I need to spend less time on facebook and more time reading quality literature that will improve my mind and my vocabulary, thus ensuring less usage of words like "oodles".

5) Drink more coffee. Just kidding. But I felt that my list needed a fifth item.

Love to all!
Lissa Hoarn

Oddest Things

If you could describe me in one word, what would it be? For those of you who like me, it might be bubbly, outgoing, or confident. For those of you who don't, it might be bossy, annoying, a tad overbearing. For those of you who love me (yes, siblings, I am talking to you...and Liana) it might be obnoxious, air-headed, loud, or amazonian.

But I can almost guarantee that none of you would choose the word "maternal." I am so not the nurturing type. That's Becky, and more recently, Sheryl. (That transformation came as a bit of a surprise...just kidding, Sheryl.) That's not me.

So maybe it's all the time I've spent with Delaney and Tyler lately, or maybe it was the several months of looking after 16 ninth graders, or perhaps it's the whole marriage thing, but my behavior has been shockingly maternal lately.

I've been cleaning the house...regularly. I've been cooking. I made a grocery list. spent the last hour looking at the 2010 list of top 100 baby names. And get this...today, I PICKED OUT THE SCHOOL I WANT MY KIDS TO GO TO.

Well, I picked out the schools. The good news is, they are all top prep schools where almost every kid goes to an Ivy League college, and they are all in Manhattan. The bad news is, the yearly tuition for all of them is higher than my college education is costing me. So I guess I have to be rich before I have kids.

But seriously, I'm starting to freak myself out. The other day, I changed Delay's poopy diaper..AND I DIDN'T GAG. That's a first for sure, even after all of Anna and Bethany's diapers.

Don't worry...kids are still a long way off...like, 8 years off. At least. I'm sure that this is just an odd, hormonal phase I'm going through, and next week, or next month, or tomorrow, I'll be over it.

I sincerely hope so.

Love to you all,
Lissa