Change

Change has always been something I've feared and looked forward to, as I think is the case for many people. I like tradition, I like the comfort of knowing what is going to happen next. However, being a dreamer, I will never be content in just one place for an entire lifetime. I'm not a settler.

Change, both for the better and for the worse, has seemed to permeate my life lately.

Firstly, there was the change in my family. That's is probably the most intense and emotional change in my life. If I were to be completely honest, I know that there is a lot of baggage I still have to deal with, but I also feel as though I have come so far. I know I owe so much of that progress to my husband, and all of it to my God. He's carried me every step that I've let him. The struggle is letting go and allowing him to pick me up off the ground in the first place. I think this coming week will be a test of my emotions. Christmas has been exactly the same as far back as I can remember, right down to the food. But when a family changes, it follows that traditions do. But I am blessed to have incredible siblings, an amazing Mom, and a phenomenal husband that I can focus on.

The second major change (and an infinitely better one) has been marriage. This change has been nothing but good. Every step of the way, from the little arguments about whether the garbage can should go under the sink or next to the sink (Nathan won this one...under the sink) to the late night conversations about our plans and dreams (when we should be sleeping or studying), to the times when we have to just laugh at ourselves as we try to figure out this whole marriage thing, I find myself in disbelief that two people could ever be so incredibly happy.

Then, of course, there is college. For college and marriage to come all at the same time presented a crazy few months of trying to meld marriage with a show, 18 credits, and lots and lots of Latin. But by the end of the semester we had a nice rhythm going, and I'm finding that I'm actually excited for the changes next semester will bring. We've made so many friends (recently a lovely married couple that moved in next to us)and already have made countless good memories.

All the changes happened in the course of about 6 months, and it made for a very emotional me. I'm so grateful God gave me an understanding, even tempered man who can find me cute on my crabbiest days, and understand when I feel like I'm sobbing for no reason. I never want to take that for granted.

But stepping back, and taking a good look at what my life has become, I find that I would change very little about the past, and the things that I would change, I know I would be changing out of selfishness. They needed to happen, and they happened for a reason. I've been blessed through each and every change this year, and I find myself actually looking forward to the changes that will undoubtedly present themselves in the future.

I'm sorry this post was so long...I've always been an overly ambitious writer (my school papers are always several pages past the required length), and once I start it's hard to stop myself. I'll work on that.

God Bless,
Lissa Hoarn